


we don't have any real friends

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: AU season 3, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 07:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19246492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: Season 3 altered by everything we know now from season 4. Jonah and Amy get together a lot sooner, for one!





	we don't have any real friends

**Author's Note:**

> not mine, no profit garnered. for the trope bingo square chosen family. thanks A!!! Title from radiohead's the bends.

Jonah jumped ten feet when someone actually knocked on the door of his trailer. He had a busy schedule of listening to podcasts, reading twitter, sleeping for an hour and waking up and having weird dreams because he never stopped listening to podcasts. Everything was taking up a lot of his time. So he didn't interact with people much and he wasn't ready for the knocking. 

Worse, or better maybe, it was Amy. She looked like Amy in his imagination looked, except with dimension and she took up space. It was more space and less space than he thought because she wasn't real in his imagination but she was very real standing in front of him. She was also glistening and he was generally just red and sweaty in the same kind of weather. She said, "Can I come in? It's gross out here."

"Yes, yes, yeah, come on in," Jonah said. The place was mostly empty so he wasn't worried about embarrassing himself with the mess. But the mostly empty part was kind of embarrassing, too, he thought. He took a deep breath and tried to make himself skinny so she could walk by him without any chance of touching. "Come in," he said.

"I'm already in," Amy said. She leaned against the wall, completely failing to look casual. "Why are you living here?"

"There was a tornado," Jonah said. 

"I know that, but like, aren't your parents rich? They couldn't help you find a new place?" She looked around like she thought something was going to jump her. She never looked at Jonah, not straight in his face. 

He suspected he was blinking too much. He said, "Well, I'm on my own. I can stand on my own. I've got this whole trailer for now. But actually, I don't like telling my parents things. I have to lie. I've been lying to my parents since I ended up here. I told them I was in medical school. They still think I'm in medical school."

"You mean they don't know you work for Cloud 9?" Amy was now staring at him. Very intently. "So you started lying, like, right away?"

"Well, I had to lie in a way that made sense. It's not like the Natalie Portman thing," Jonah said. "They also think I'm engaged to Natalie Portman."

Amy was still staring at him. He said, "So I try not to call them because it's also a whole thing where I have to lie more. I could tell the truth, I guess."

Amy didn't say anything. She definitely had an expression that was not supportive. He said, "Maybe I could tell them the whole truth, make it work."

"Make what work? Lies and more lies and some kind of trickery that made people who know you think you're in the same league as Natalie Portman?" She shook her head. 

"Sure, sure," Jonah said. "I don't disagree. I don't, at all. But, um, I'm a very disappointing child, mostly. So I really wanted, you know, it was to my advantage to let them believe it."

"Why are you saying it in the past tense? They still believe it, right?"

"I guess," Jonah said. "Should I tell them the truth?"

"You already told me the truth and you're basically saying you're ashamed of the one thing we have in common, which is our job, so how hard is that, right?"

"Yeah," Jonah said. "How are you?"

Amy stared back at him. She finally said, "I'm getting a divorce. Which sucks. And I hate it. It had nothing to do with you. I don't love you. I don't like you. I just came by to say hi and to get out of the house."

"I didn't think you loved me," Jonah said quickly. "I thought you maybe liked me. And you came here. To my trailer. Which you would have to have looked up a little. A bit."

"I did some research but it didn't take that much effort. It wasn't even research," Amy said, shifting from side to side. "I went to your place, it was rubble and then I googled what happened."

"So just a google search, then," Jonah said. "Is my address on google?"

"No, I called Dina. She tracks everyone," Amy said. "It was nice talking to her. Which, God, I can't believe I just said that. But hey, at least my parents don't think I'm engaged to, um, Dave Franco."

"Why would you be engaged to Dave Franco? How is, uh, is Dave Franco the equivalent of Natalie Portman? Isn't he married to Alison Brie? Or Brie Larson? The one on Mad Men. Dave Franco is married to, or dating, the one on Mad Men and her character was married to the guy, the actor who's Rory Gilmore's baby daddy." Into Amy's silence, he said, "I stock magazines a lot." 

"Wow," Amy said. "I don't know. Natalie Portman's married. She has two kids. With that guy!" Amy sat down and then stood up. 

"I know! I don't know why my parents believe that!" Jonah sat down on the bed. "Should I tell them the truth?"

"Yes," Amy said. "Tell your parents, always tell your parents the truth."

"Okay," Jonah said. "I will do that."

"Okay," Amy said. "Well, I've left the house and now I'm going back to the house. I'll call you."

"Okay," Jonah said.

She walked out hesitantly, and then like she'd decided to storm off. 

 

Amy answered her door slowly. It had been a whole week since the whole awkward staring and not quite shouting conversation and now Jonah had come to her house. Amy said, "You're here."

"I am. Are you alone? Can I come in?"

"Why would you get to come in only if I'm alone," Amy said, frowning. She opened the door. "But I'm alone."

He walked into her living room. It looked like Amy had taken some things down and there were clothes on the couch. He stopped looking around. He didn't want to intrude. "I told my parents. And my family. Everyone's pretty disappointed with me. They said so, a lot. Except my nana, she said she thought I was being naughty and adorable."

"You had a nanny?" Amy sat on her couch and started fiddling with the clothes next to her. 

"I never had a nanny," Jonah said. "My nana is my great grandmother."

"I only have one grandparent alive," Amy said. "And one step-grandparent. That's it. No great grandparents."

"All my grandparents are alive. I've never been to a funeral, actually," Jonah said. 

"That's weird," Amy said. "That's very weird. You're weird."

"Okay," Jonah said. "I like working at Cloud 9. It's weird admitting that."

"Why would you like this? You have a degree. You could get a job," Amy said. She apparently decided to fold the clothes on the couch. She said, "You could get a better job."

"I like the job I have. I like the people," Jonah said. "It's the longest job I've ever had."

"It's been a year," Amy said. "You've had this job for a year. You're over thirty."

Jonah shrugged. He really did prefer the real Amy in her real flesh and blood to the Amy in his imagination. He really liked Amy, in general. He wasn't staying in St. Louis for Amy, he had definitely worked that out over the past few weeks, but she was a part of St. Louis he liked a lot. Loved, whatever. Amy wasn't auditing his thoughts. He said, "Well, you're right. That's very true."

"It's very true that you don't know anything, okay," Amy said. "Why are all our conversations so awkward?"

"It's just these two, these two since the tornado," Jonah said. "But maybe once we get past this. You know, divorce, kiss, no place to live."

"Sure, that makes sense," Amy said. "Totally." She threw all the folded clothes in a trash bag. "Come on, let's go somewhere. I'm donating these."

"Are they Adam's?" 

"No," Amy said. "Adam took his clothes. He took a lot of stuff. This is my stuff. It's like spring cleaning." She grabbed another bag and pushed him towards the door. "We can take your car."

"It's nice that you got the house, right?" Jonah was searching for something to say. 

"It's great," Amy said. "Awesome. Drive me to Goodwill."

He drove for a few seconds and then said, "Am I heading the right way? There's more than one Goodwill in St. Louis."

She gave him directions to the one she meant. There was a lot of parking. Jonah said, "Do you need my help? Should I carry something?"

"I can do it. Maybe you need to shop. Didn't you lose all your clothes?"

"I have a few," Jonah said. "But I'll be inside."

He browsed. He even found a few things he liked and he had paid for them and was just sitting by the entrance when Amy came in. "Are the shirts all plaid?"

He smiled. "Just two."

Jonah drove her home and followed her inside. She said, "Hey. So. Um. Everything is weird. Isn't it? It feels weird. It feels like we all almost died. But actually, we didn't. We totally didn't die. And Adam and I can't make things work. I don't know."

"Yeah, it was a weird year."

Amy laughed. "That's one way to put it. You just, you upended my world just by being annoying and the way you are. I really hate that. Not that I wouldn't be here anyway."

"By here you mean your house? Right?" Jonah definitely preferred to play dumb at this point. 

"You know what I mean, asshole," Amy said. 

"Yeah," Jonah said. "I do feel like, you know, I was talking to my parents, and they kept saying why stay in St. Louis and why do you want that awful job back" - he noticed Amy frowning. "I know, you do believe it's an awful job, but my parents mean it differently. But I was thinking, um, I was like, I feel like I found my place."

Amy said, "Look, I don't mean to be weird, but you know how sad that sounds, right?"

"I'm aware," Jonah said. "This is a weird summer."

"This really is," Amy said. She sat down and looked up at the ceiling. 

Jonah said, "I guess I should find someplace to live. I mean, I think my parents sort of accept me living in St. Louis now. Kind of. Anyway, I convinced my mother to help me pay for new furniture provided I find a place. And she'll help with the rent."

"Really?"

Jonah shrugged. "We'll see about the rent part, but she already set aside the money for the furniture. She'll send it to me when I have a place."

"That's good," Amy said. "Like, IKEA furniture or better?"

"I estimated using the West Elm website. I own nothing, remember? So that's bed, couch, drawers, table, chairs, ottoman, chaise," Jonah said. 

"I always pictured you as more of a found objects on Craiglist kind of guy," Amy said. 

"Usually," Jonah said. "I would, but not when I'm moving in owning nothing. I just need to find a place."

"I can help you look," Amy said. She got up and grabbed her laptop. "Zillow, right? When I thought I might be moving out, I was browsing on Zillow. Do you care about a long commute?"

Jonah sat down next to her on the couch. "I like to be able to bike to work when the weather's not horrible. Or maybe walk to work? Or take the bus. I never take the bus. I should, though. I should support public transportation."

"Got it," Amy said. 

Amy even went with him when he went to look at places and drop off applications. She even started making jokes. She pointed out every independent coffee shop, saying, "You could go there instead of Starbucks!" Then she'd laugh, like that was some insane idea. 

It was dark by the time Jonah drove Amy home. He got out of the car and followed her inside and then stopped at the door. He said, "I should get back to my trailer."

"Or you could have dinner."

"Dinner is good," Jonah said. He had a brief moment of panic as he went inside, he was really going to fall behind on his podcasts if he kept hanging out with Amy. He needed to accept that. He was guaranteed to fall behind once work started. 

After dinner, he and Amy watched random things on Netflix. She refused all of his suggestions so he refused all of her suggestions so they ended up watching bad horror movies, or at least a few minutes of them. Then he mentioned a podcast he loved where they watched bad movies and made fun of them. "Not Mystery Science Theater 3000, it's a podcast," he said. 

"Can you explain what a podcast is to me? Because I have no idea," She rolled her eyes.

They picked a movie from the podcast.

Then it was 1:00AM and Amy said, "You can just sleep on the couch, if you want. Or there's a bed in the basement. The couch is comfier. But, if you wanted to."

"Sure, sure," Jonah said. "In the morning, we can listen to the episodes where they talk about these movies."

"We have to do something to redeem them," Amy said. "I don't forgive you for making me watch them."

"You wouldn't let us watch Fork over Knives!"

He was still laughing a little when Amy came back with a pillow and a blanket. 

Then the next day he spent just sort of hanging out with Amy, and she came with him back to his trailer when he basically packed up his remaining possessions into the trunk of his car. It just made sense since he was already apartment hunting. He applied to two more places. Then he and Amy watched movies again and he just naturally slept on the couch. It was better than his trailer. 

The next day was the same and the day after and by the time it had been a week, Jonah realized he had effectively moved in to Amy's living room. He still hadn't found an apartment so he had no move in date. And Emma was coming back from her summer camp. He packed up everything he had in a new backpack he'd bought at Target. Amy came downstairs while he was putting his shoes on. 

She said, "Where're you going?"

"Home? Emma's home this afternoon, I should stop crashing on your couch," Jonah said. 

Amy frowned. "I already told Emma you were staying with us until you got a new place."

"Oh," Jonah said. "Okay. I didn't realize we'd decided that." 

"Yeah," Amy said. "But it's okay, right?"

"Totally okay," Jonah said. "Totally." 

He made dinner for Emma and Amy and they seemed to like it. Emma disappeared to her room after that because she was fourteen, basically. Amy sighed heavily but then they watched Gymkata. Jonah was laughing so hard his abs ached. 

One week was two weeks and then three weeks. He was really having the hardest time finding a place he wanted. He had very very bad credit. He technically worked at Cloud 9 but not until some time in September. All these things made him a bad tenant prospect. It was super frustrating. 

He did keep trying, though. He didn't want Amy to think he was trying to stay with her. He was getting fond of the couch which was bad. He was already fond of Amy. Emma was pretty nice, too, when she forgot to be a disdainful teenager. Jonah remembered that phase. He'd only been mean to his mother, mostly, he was never good at disdainful. 

It was midnight and he and Amy were on his couch bed watching Law and Order SVU reruns. "I hate Amaro," Amy said. 

"He's very rugged," Jonah said. "That's not enough to sustain the character, frankly."

Amy yawned and leaned back into Jonah. He slowly patted her arm. He said, "I wanted to, you know, we never did talk about that whole kiss thing."

"What's there to say?" She didn't stop resting on his chest. "I'm not ready to do anything about any feelings I have so I guess it's kinda mean that I have you living here and doing things like I'm doing right now. Sorry. But I'm really tired."

"Well, that feels like talking about it," Jonah said. 

He still hadn't found a place by the time they got back to work. It was nice to have a job to work at. And he missed seeing everyone. Amy admitted to Cheyenne that she had Jonah living with her so everyone kept coming up to Jonah asking him how the post-divorce sex was with Amy. He tried joking about it and then he tried just ignoring it, but everyone was really excited to talk about it. 

Garrett said, "You know, I have a second room if you want to get away from paying your rent on your back to the floor supervisor."

"Oh, that's very tempting. But actually, I'm not having sex with Amy to pay rent," Jonah said. 

"I know that," Garrett said. "You're obviously not having sex with Amy. She just got divorced."

"Exactly," Jonah said. "No one else gets that."

"Dude, everyone else gets that. If you were having sex with Amy, well, I can't picture the change that would make in you, but I'm sure it would be super clear," Garrett said. "Damn it, I'm out of practice. I've been out of work way too long."

"I'm sure you'll be better soon," Jonah said. "Thanks for the offer."

It was nice having work back. Plus he went to High Holy Days services in the same place he'd went last year in St. Louis. Feels like home, he thought. He was definitely feeling better. 

"My question is," Carol said. "If you're sleeping on the couch and living in Amy's living room, where do you masturbate? Right on the couch?"

He stared at her and backed away. Right into the new girl. She was very short. He said, "Sorry."

She said, "Oh, I understand. Carol's talked to me before. Backing away slowly seems like a good idea." She stuck out her hand. "Hi, I'm Kelly."

Jonah pointed at his badge. Then he shook her hand. "I'm Jonah, obviously."

"Oh, I know. You're at the popular table, you know. Garrett's best friend, Amy's room-mate, Dina used to have a crush on you."

"Garrett's best friend, you say? I like how you talk," Jonah said.

He was on the phone with his mother that night explaining yet again that he hadn't found a place yet because his credit was awful and it was hard to find a place while she said over and over again, "You could be in medical school. I would have understood medical school."

The worst part was that his mother's calls cut into his favorite after work activity: watching bad movies with Amy. They would egg each other on and he thought they were hilarious. Sometimes Emma would join in, sometimes she called them both dumb. 

He complained about his mother in the break room. "You got to set boundaries," Dina said. "Cut her off if she can't listen to you."

"That seems pretty strong," Jonah said.

"Well, you seem pretty weak," Dina said. 

"Thanks for the advice and judgment," Jonah said. 

"Hey, I've seen two shrinks for three weeks, I've pretty much got this mental health stuff down," Dina said. She nodded in agreement with herself. "That's the equivalent of six weeks of therapy and even before that, I knew better than to put up with nonsense."

Mateo said, "Even from your mom?" 

"My mother's an absolute idiot," Dina said.

Jonah looked over at Kelly. She was just listening and smiling and nodding. 

Still, when his mother called that night and she started in on about his lies, he said, "Mom, I'm not going to medical school. I'm still working at Cloud 9. Can't we move on and talk about something else? Something we'd both enjoy. How are the kids? I bet you have some good stories about my niece and nephews."

"I do have some," she said. "But, really, Cloud 9?"

"Yes, Mom, really, Cloud 9. Tell me about Norabeth and the boys. Right now," Jonah said. 

It actually worked. Jonah refused to tell Dina, but Amy heard him and told her. They were best friends now. 

Once he came home from work and Amy was on the phone with Dina and he came in just as Amy said, "Yeah, Adam had a big dick. I mean, as far as I know. I can only really compare to porn, basically since he was my first and only."

Jonah said nothing and went straight to the guest bathroom he used. He got out when his phone battery was low and he smelled Amy cooking. Naturally, neither of them talked about anything he might have heard over dinner. They talked about how disturbing the movie Jack Frost was. 

During Halloween, he definitely flirted a little with Kelly. Amy looked so gorgeous in her outfit and he had to direct his need to connect somewhere. Then as they were walking out, Kelly smiled up at him and he realized she was really short and really cute. And he'd much rather date Amy. He said, "Today was fun. I'm going to, you know, Amy and I live together."

"Oh," Kelly said. "I thought it wasn't like that. People kept saying it was like that but then you and she said it wasn't. So I thought you were telling the truth there."

"Nope, I was just denying it because I get tired of people making fun of me," Jonah said. "I am really in love with her." He blushed and hoped Amy didn't hear about that. She probably would and he'd have to make something up to justify saying it. 

He backed away slowly again. 

He went home with Amy. He kept debating if he should make a joke, so Amy wouldn't suddenly hear Jonah was declaring his love for her. She would totally hear about it, every aisle had ears in Cloud 9. So he needed to inoculate her. Or something. 

He hadn't thought of anything by the time they got back to Amy's house. She said, "Oh, God, I have to get this wig off my head. Stand there." She did something and ducked and then handed him the bulk of her hair. It was a really heavy wig. 

"Where did you get this?"

"My sister, of course," Amy said. She stared into the shiny refrigerator and started removing pins from her hair. She shook out her hair but it still looked a little flat. 

She backed into him. "Okay," she said. "Your next job is unbuttoning this thing. I managed it once when I had to pee but otherwise I have no idea how to get this off."

"Right, right," he said. He touched her neck and looked for the buttons or clasps. "This is really pretty. You looked really pretty today."

"I know," Amy said. "Garrett spent the whole day trying to get me to sign up for Tinder? One of those dating apps."

"He never uses those apps. He was teasing you," Jonah said. He'd found the buttons and zippers. He undid them. He touched her neck again and then stepped back. "You should be able to get out of it now."

"Okay, okay," Amy said. She was speaking very quickly. She turned around and shrugged out of her jumpsuit. She was just looking at him, her eyes locked on his and just in her pretty pink bra and matching underwear. "Um," she said. She bent down and picked up the jumpsuit. "Sorry, I borrowed this, too. I'm just going to fold it." She did that and put it on the living room table with the wig. 

"You look great," he said. "Are you hitting on me? That would be great, too. I would be very happy if you are. Also, where is Emma?"

Amy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms under her breasts. She was really super pretty. Sometimes he wondered how she was just there, in St. Louis, looking like a movie star. She said, "Totally hitting on you. Garrett kept saying I should."

"That's nice of him," Jonah said. "Not because of anything you heard about me maybe saying to Kelly? Because I realized maybe I was flirting with her and I tried to let her down easy but I just ended up lying to that we were already dating. Which is something I want to happen, but isn't happening. Not yet."

"I want that, too," Amy said, softly. "Maybe we would go upstairs and, you know, my bedroom?"

"Oh, yeah, yes, good idea," Jonah said. He took off his shoes and his wings and his shirt and his pants and then he realized he still had those things on his head. He reached to take them off.

"You can leave those on," Amy said. "I'm just, like, the way they kind of move is so cute."

"Really?" He shrugged and followed her upstairs. 

He got to her bed and she was running into her bathroom. Then she came back out. They sort of half fell on the bed. And they were touching and she had great skin, too. She had a few stretchmarks on her hips, they kinda looked cool. He started pulling down her underwear and touching her between her legs. He said, "Is this okay?"

"Oh," she said. She was gesturing at nothing. "Are you going to --"

"Yeah, unless you don't like it. And let me know what you like, you know, so you enjoy it." He nudged her legs wider and put his mouth on her. She was already wet, so that was good.

She made happy sounds and also said, "Oh, good, do that, not that." There was a point where her thighs closed in on his ears and he had to sort of push them back apart.

"That was good, right?" He looked up from between her legs. 

She laughed. "It's good, it's good, keep going." 

So he absolutely did. She was trembling and she grabbed at his hair which he really liked. He loved watching her come, his fingers pushing up into her and his mouth on her clit. He could feel her. He sat up and wiped his mouth. 

She said, "You, that was great, but you need to brush your teeth before we kiss again. Sorry. But you should."

"Got it," he said. Which he did and after a minute or two, he was standing in her bathroom, looking in her big mirror, brushing his teeth with the guest toothbrush. He had his own toothbrush just one floor down but he was pretty aroused and didn't want to walk anywhere too far. 

She stood next to him and grabbed his bicep. "We should have sex now. Do you have a condom? I have some. Dina keeps giving me them." She bent down and got out a Cloud 9 bag. There really were a ton of condoms in there. "Here we go."

Jonah put down the toothbrush. He said, "I think we already had sex but we can have another kind of sex right now. That would be great."

"You're so you, even now," she said. 

He got behind her and shoved his own short boxers down. He took the condom and put it on. She bent over a little again and said, "We can do it here. I mean, it might be fun. Do you make weird faces? I know I make weird faces."

"I'm pretty sure they're very weird faces," he said. So he looked down at her hair and her lovely smooth back as he guided his dick in. 

She said, "Oh, that's good. That's nice." 

"Yeah," he said. He felt very eloquent. He loved being inside her, fucking her. He held her hips and thrust in and out. Not like a piston or a jackrabbit, like he was making love. He let go of one side so he could reach for her again, make her come a second time. 

When he looked up, he really was making a weird awful face as he came. Amy just looked gorgeous. 

After they had both cleaned up and gotten in bed, he sat up. He went downstairs and made his couch bed and rumpled it up. In case Emma came home early. When he got back upstairs, Amy said, "I liked this. We should keep doing it. I like you."

"I like you a lot," Jonah said. 

After a week, Jonah stopped pretending he was sleeping on the couch. Amy didn't exactly tell Emma they were now dating, it was just obvious and Amy said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jonah was making pad thai from a recipe he'd seen on pinterest. It said it was quick and easy but Jonah was really starting to doubt that. At least it smelled okay. Jonah said nothing and stared at his phone. 

Emma said, "Dad's already dating someone, too."

Amy said, "I know. Any time you want to talk, you tell me."

Emma didn't reply. 

The pad thai turned out okay. Amy said it could be spicier, he should work on that next time. 

They would watch a bad movie when they got home from work because that was a neverending renewable resource. Amy had just groaned the first time he said that. After they started having sex, they still watched bad movies downstairs if Emma was home. If she wasn't, they watched in the bedroom. 

Everyone already assumed Amy and Jonah were dating so when Cheyenne caught them kissing by Amy's car before work started, she just said, "Oh, gross, guys, come on. Make out in the photo lab like everyone else. Like I used to before I got all tied down with this baby and being married and everything else. God, it is so early."

Around Thanksgiving his mother was back to being embarrassed by Jonah's job and general life circumstances. She said, "I know you don't have rounds so you could actually come home."

"That doesn't sound like I'd enjoy it," Jonah said. "How often will we be talking about how I'm a total disappointment?"

"We do have other things to talk about," his mother said. "Like all that time you lied to all of us."

"That's, that's a very good point," Jonah said. "But I'm working."

"Will you ever find a place? Your father and I have been holding onto the money you asked for."

"You offered first," Jonah said. "Actually, I'm, I think I'm going to stay here. Where I'm at. I've been, I just started dating Amy."

"Oh," his mother said. "Okay then."

He couldn't bring himself to ask his parents for the money anyway. It would be very helpful to have money to help Amy with the mortgage, but he had a little bit of pride. 

"But also we should talk," he said to Amy. They were working their tenth hour of Black Friday. "We've been dating or whatever for about a month. Close to. We're basically living together. I mean, we are. We should be able to talk about things. Like us."

"What's there to talk about? We like each other. You're not obnoxious to live with," Amy said. 

"But you basically went from being married to being divorced and now we're living together and isn't all a little rushed?" He was definitely being an idiot. But he was concerned this kind of thing would just sneak up on them and he'd be miserable and anxious and living in a trailer again. 

"I've thought about it," Amy said. "I've thought about it a lot. Cheyenne and Mateo keep bringing it up to me. They're really insistent about it. And Dina brings it up all the time, too. At least I think she does it because she likes me for some reason. Also, once Kelly mentioned it to me which was the worst."

"Oh, okay. You could have told me," Jonah said. 

She shrugged. They were uselessly organizing a ravaged aisle. "I don't know what there is to say. I'm okay with it. Everyone's different. I don't have to conform to some dumb idea of when I'm supposed to be ready or what a rebound is. This feels good. Right?"

"It really does," Jonah said. "Great, great."

He liked falling asleep with her. She snored a little. She played Candy Crush until she practically fell asleep with the phone in her hand. Once he'd had to take it out of her hand and try to finish the level for her. It did not go well. He sucked at Candy Crush. He wore his earbuds until she was asleep and then he would put on his tiny bluetooth speaker. He would set the sleep timer on his podcast app. So many important things to listen to. He had to keep up. He was even more concerned about issues affecting latinx teens now that he saw Emma half of every week. He never said that out loud because it was too revealing of his privilege. 

Also he just liked hanging out with Amy. She was really funny. Their sex life had gotten much better and he thought it had started out pretty good. 

It was weird being happy. 

It just got, well, mildly better. His dad called while Jonah was driving Amy and Emma to the movie theater Christmas at noon. "Do we have to eat Chinese food?" Emma looked up from her phone. "That's what RaeLynn said. Jewish people eat Chinese food for Christmas."

"That's a tradition but mostly because those used to be the only restaurants open today," Jonah said. Jonah pressed accept on the call. "Hey, Dad, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Jonah. I wanted to let you know, your mother and I have decided to take the money we were going to give you for a new apartment and put it towards your student loans." 

"Wow," Jonah said. "Okay, that's great. Thanks." It would barely make a dent, but sure. It was nice.

"We talked to Paul, our advisor. We're going to completely pay your school loans off, this year and next year. Hopefully, that will inspire you to look at your choices and expand your dreams a little," his dad said.

"Okay, that's great. That's really great, thank you, Dad. Tell Mom thanks, too, I really appreciate it."

"Well, you're welcome. We love you, Jonah," he said. 

"I love you, too, Dad. And Mom," Jonah said. "Thank you again."

"Yes, we'll call tomorrow for all the details. Unless you have them now."

"Nope," Jonah said. "I'm actually driving Emma and Amy to the movie theater, we're seeing a movie."

"Hi," Amy said. "It's Amy."

Jonah could see Emma roll her eyes in the backseat. 

"Okay then," Jonah's dad said. "Talk to you tomorrow." He hung up. 

"So that was my dad," Jonah said. "Pretty great news."

"Do you have a lot of student loans?" Emma looked up from her phone again. 

"About two hundred thousand," Jonah said. "Dollars. Two hundred thousand dollars. That sure will be nice to have that gone. Wow."

"Shit," Amy said. "That's nuts. Is that just your undergrad? Wow."

"Yup," Jonah said. "I mean, it's nuts. Yup. It's undergrad and that one year of business school. I don't really make much of a dent in it, honestly."

"I can imagine," Amy said. "Wow."

Emma really liked the movie which made Jonah pretty happy. It was weird but good watching a movie that didn't suck with Amy. He usually watched good films on his iPad when Amy was at work and Jonah wasn't. When she was home and he wasn't, Amy played video games. She really liked the battle ones. 

Dina showed up for Amy's Golden Globe party early. She said, "Look, we'll start cleaning, let's give pretty boy an easy job. He can spruce up the art in this room. That'll keep you busy, right?"

"Sure," Jonah said. He knew Amy was anxious about having everyone over. She kept talking about how she wasn't worried, she could do all of it. It was a clear sign she felt over her head.

At some point in December, Amy had taken down every picture of Adam in the living room and put most of them in Emma's room. Jonah was pretty sure Emma's room at Adam's apartment didn't have ten different pictures of Amy. Unless Emma put them up. Jonah wondered if Emma had done that.

Jonah rearranged the art so there were fewer empty spaces. He went down to the basement and garage and brought up some paintings from Mr. Sosa's different phases. Two paintings of bowls of fruit, one very impressionistic portrait of Amy's mom. He was making sure everything was straight when Amy shoved a picture in his hands. "Everyone will think it's weird if there isn't one picture of you or your family. You can put this one up. But not, don't make it a focal point."

"Got it," Jonah said. It was a picture of the whole family from Jonah's college graduation. His mother had sent it in its fancy frame back in November. She'd also gotten a copy of Jonah's college diploma and had that framed, too. It looked very expensive. Jonah kept that in the basement. But he could put up the Simms family one. 

He found a lower corner position near the hallway for his family. He preferred it where he'd had it in Amy's bedroom. He really felt like Amy's bedroom was the only place where he had marked a little space even if he did call it Amy's bedroom. 

Garrett said, "Jeez, do you even live here?"

"Yes," Amy said, interrupting. "See? He has a picture." She gestured at the wrong corner of the living room. He corrected her hands so she was pointing in the right direction. 

"It's not like I have stuff," Jonah said. "I did lose everything."

"Right," Mateo said. "Nice excuse."

"It is," Jonah said. 

As he pointed out to Amy repeatedly, all the snow in Missouri was part and parcel of climate change. He kind of liked the sharpness of the cold weather, though. He really wanted to go skiing. He brought it up to Amy and she said, "Yeah, I'm not rich."

"Skiing is not just for rich people," Jonah said. 

"How much would it cost for us to go skiing?"

Jonah nodded his head. "Okay, it's for people who have slightly more money than us."

"But someday," Amy said. "Don't give up hope."

Weeks later, he followed Amy into the furniture section of the Target. "I guess I wouldn't mind getting a new bed. A new mattress. I was looking at this place that does organic and custom made mattresses. Also a bed frame. That would be nice, I think."

Amy turned and stopped. "You want a new bed? For us?"

"Yeah," Jonah said. "I really liked my old bed, the one I lost in the tornado. It would be nice, you know."

"We should replace the bed in my bedroom," Amy said. "Our bedroom."

"I think I would love a new bed," Jonah said. "I know it's your house -- but a few little parts of it can have a touch of me, right?"

"More than a touch, right? I mean, technically we're living together," Amy said. 

"Technically?" Jonah stopped this time. 

Amy frowned. "Sorry, I guess technically. Technically is the wrong word. Of course we live together. I guess it would be better to get a new place, one that was all ours. But we have a mortgage on this house. Emma loves the house. It would be stupid to move out. But. I know," she said. "I know it doesn't feel like your place."

"It's okay," Jonah said. "It's okay."

"You're allowed to argue with me," Amy said. "God, you can be upset."

"I'm not upset," Jonah said. "It all makes sense."

Amy nodded her head. "I know you say that. But I guess we can get a new bed."

"I'll run it by you first," Jonah said. He was actually excited. 

He showed her the mattress and bed frame he'd picked out in the break room. Always a bad idea. Amy said, "It looks fine. Do you want me to pay half?"

"No," Jonah said. "I got this."

"You're letting Jonah decorate?" Mateo raised his eyebrows nearly up to his hairline. He had a very expressive face. 

"I'm not letting Jonah do anything," Amy said. "We live together. We do things together."

"That sounds convincing," Mateo said. "Does he have a lot of bad ideas? Jonah seems like the kind of person who would want a lot of wallpaper. A lot."

"Wallpaper?" Jonah started tapping his phone. He was ordering this bed now that Amy had approved. "I don't want wallpaper."

"I like wallpaper," Amy said. "Some."

"Oh, I remember your place," Mateo said. "It could probably use a new touch. Someone with a real sense of style. So not you or Jonah."

"We can't afford an interior designer," Amy said. 

"That's a pity," Dina said. 

Amy rolled her eyes and Jonah was already looking longingly at the West Elm eco line. 

He convinced her to go halfsies on a new sofa and persuaded her to let him hang some art he'd found at a weekend folk festival. He felt at least one fifth like the house was his home. He didn't tell Amy that. He wasn't sure if she would be touched or upset that he wasn't more upset or something else.

Which ate at him.

"One fifth," he said. "This place feels like one fifth my home."

"Okay," Amy said. "One fifth sounds good."

"Right," Jonah said. "I agree. I just wanted to tell you. Not hold things back."

"Good idea," Amy said. "We're definitely not holding anything back."

"We're communication masters," Jonah said. 

Amy decorated their bedroom for Valentine's Day. She'd already made fun of Jonah for liking flowers so much. But for Valentine's, she put flowers on the new bed with the new linen. She wore nice lingerie and she swore it was a from a line that absolutely did not use child labor. "It's in the tag, even." She smiled. "Want to find the tag?" She shimmied a little. It was unbelievably sexy. 

Another few weeks later, he bought her a copy of the video game she loved when it came out. He sat on the couch and watched her play while he read the New Yorker. He looked at the blood on the screen and looked at Amy. He said, "When was the last time you had your period?"

"What?" Amy killed something on the screen. "What did you ask?"

"You're late, I think. I'm probably wrong."

She dropped the controller. "Oh, fuck." 

She picked up the controller and shoved it in his hands. "End this run, I'll be right back." She literally ran out of the house. 

He did his best but he wasn't really into the violence. It just wasn't cathartic to him the way it was to Amy and Garrett. He turned off the game and thought about Amy running out of the house. She might be pregnant. 

They might be pregnant. He inhaled and exhaled. He was really glad Emma was with Adam that night. 

Amy came home with three pregnancy tests from Walgreens. "I don't trust Cloud 9."

"Good, good, I agree," Jonah said. "So you're late."

"Not that late," Amy said. "Late enough. Why didn't you use a condom?" She went into the bathroom and he followed her. "Are you going to watch me pee?"

"If you want help," Jonah said.

"No," Amy said, pushing him out of the room. She didn't close the door. 

"I did use a condom," Jonah said. "I always use a condom. But even used correctly there's a 3% failure rate. And it's probably higher for those SuperCloud ones. We didn't use those very often." He intended to keep rambling until she made him stop but he couldn't think of anything. Pregnant was looming in his brain in neon. Pregnant. 

She said, "Why did you stop talking? Can you please keep talking?"

"I'll try," Jonah said. "Do you, um, I was just reading something in the New Yorker --" he tried to describe it. He wasn't making any sense. 

"Okay, let's see if I'm pregnant," Amy said. "Come on in." 

He looked down at the counter. They all seemed to be positive and pregnant. Even if he couldn't tell, he could see it in Amy's eyes. 

Amy said, "Oh, wow."

"Yeah, wow," Jonah said. "What do you want, do you want to --"

"I have no idea," Amy said.

"Whatever you think is best," Jonah said. "I mean it."

"Fuck," Amy said. "I need to not be here." She left again. 

Jonah went up to their bedroom and laid on the bed. He stared at the ceiling. Pregnant meant maybe baby and possibly raising a child, not just watching Emma from the sidelines. Or it meant none of those things because the whole of it rested on Amy to decide to do it. 

It was up to Amy, her body, her choice. He was proud of himself that when the question wasn't academic, he still held to his feminist ideals. 

He fell asleep embarrassed. 

Jonah's alarm woke him up. He felt like he'd set it up a year ago. He wondered if Amy wanted him to move out. Maybe they'd been moving too fast. 

He was startled again when Amy walked in. She said, "Hi. Sorry."

"No, it's fine. It's fine."

"Is it?" Amy flopped on the bed. "Dina said you'd never leave if I had an abortion because your principles wouldn't let you be mad at me."

"I won't," Jonah said. "If you want to. Whatever you want."

"What if I don't know what I want?" She sounded, mostly, tired. 

"You've got time. I looked at my bank account, I think your last period was seven weeks ago. That's thirteen weeks before you can't get an abortion in Chicago."

Amy said, "Well, then."

"Do you want me to leave?" He hated asking but he felt like he had to. 

"No, not at all. I never want you to leave." She wasn't even looking at him but he knew she meant it. 

"I have to work," he said. "I could stay home."

"Go to work," she said. "Either way we need the money." She smiled at him. 

She watched him as he got dressed and ate his breakfast. She said, "I'll drive you to work."

He slumped in his seat, watching her hands at ten and one. She kissed him goodbye. He wished he'd asked her to turn on a podcast. 

He went the whole shift without talking to anyone. He hated when he did that. It was too easy. He said a few words to customers, that was it. 

Jonah went outside and Amy was there. He got in the car. She handed him a coffee from his favorite place way over by his old apartment. She said, "I think we should have it."

He said, "I would like that."

Her hands were at ten and one again. She said, "Also I love you. I wanted to get that out of the way." 

"That's definitely something you just get out of the way," Jonah said. "I love you, too."

"I just meant, since we've jumped past dating before living together and now we're having a kid after five months of dating, so you know. I didn't want to skip over saying I love you. That shouldn't wait until after the baby is born," Amy said. "If it's a boy, we'll circumcize. I know you care about that." 

"I do," he said. "I care about a lot of things. Are you sure?"

"I definitely love you," she said, smiling. "The baby thing, I think I'm sure. Fuck it, we've been doing pretty well just faking it until we make it. Right?"

"Sure," Jonah said. "Sure."

They weren't telling anyone. Except for Emma because Amy refused to lie to her and therefore also Adam because Amy wasn't about to make Emma keep secrets from her father. Jonah heard Adam in the living room. He said, "Jonah? You're having a kid with Jonah."

"Yeah," Amy said. "With Jonah. We're not commenting on each other's dating profiles, okay? Or who we date, okay?"

Since Dina knew, and Emma and Adam, Jonah insisted he get to tell Garrett so he could talk to someone without exploding. Garrett was actually pretty nice about it. He could be nice. 

Jeff quit to be with Mateo which was a whole saga. Luckily, Mateo talked to Jonah and Cheyenne about it so Jonah didn't have to hear all of it. Jeff was replaced by Laurie as district manager. 

Laurie was not impressed with Ozark Highlands. Amy tracked down Jonah to tell him how meeting Laurie went. "Badly. It went badly. She said I should try for the manager program --"

"I agree," Jonah said. 

"But then I said that might be nice, I was thinking of having more kids and it would be nice to be a manager and make more and she said I shouldn't try to be a manager if I was just going to get pregnant and waste their time," Amy said. She looked shocked. Not upset. 

Jonah said, "That's illegal. You know that's illegal, right? You can't discriminate because someone's pregnant or could be pregnant."

"I didn't tell her I was pregnant. Also, she's going to fire Myrtle."

Amy went back and convinced Laurie that if Jonah and Amy could find the savings then she wouldn't fire Myrtle. 

Jonah looked at the books while Amy cheered him on. She was a little manic. Jonah kept looking at the numbers for discrepancies or ways to cut corners. Then he found a discrepancy.

He and Amy went back to Laurie. Jonah said, "I don't know how everyone's missed this. But even though Marcus's pay rate is down here at $8.60, the payroll's cutting checks for $86. An hour. If you just cut Marcus's pay down to what he should be getting, you'd save a ton of money. Enough to keep Myrtle and give everyone a raise."

Laurie said, "Why didn't anyone notice?" She frowned and looked at the records. "Look at that, huh."

"You're going to look like a hero," Jonah said. "You can say you found this."

"I could, couldn't I?" Laurie smiled. "Fine, we fire Marcus and don't fire Myrtle."

"You should just dock Marcus's pay," Jonah said. "He didn't do anything wrong. He's just really stupid."

"Fine," Laurie said. "Don't fire anyone."

"And some raises," Amy said. "I could use a raise. And probably Jonah, too."

"Sure," Jonah said. "It would be nice."

Laurie said, "Fine. You two. No firing."

"And you look like a hero," Amy said. "And I'd appreciate a rec to that Cloud 9 Academy. I think I would like to be a manager."

"Sure," Laurie said. "Anything else?"

"We're good," Jonah said. "Thanks."

Amy was dancing in her seat as he drove them home. "We could name the baby Laurie," she said. 

"We're absolutely not doing that," Jonah said. "We Jews name our kids after dead relatives. You have a lot of those, right? You keep bragging about all your funerals."

Amy kissed his cheek while he drove. "I love you, I love you. And I was kidding. We are not naming this kid any variation of Laurie."


End file.
